Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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