I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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