i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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