I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
