Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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