I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
