This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
