I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
