This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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