we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
