Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
