My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We are two peas in an std pod
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
