Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I met the friendliest cop last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
