Ambien. No doubt about it.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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