Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
