Pappa wants mamma naked
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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