I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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