my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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