In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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