Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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