no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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