Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
