just come out here and I will go home with you...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
