I think my fart just growled at me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There r osticjed everywhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
