Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
