Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
