well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
