Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
