you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
