Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize