just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
