My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
third nipple confirmed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
