dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
