why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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