I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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