he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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