At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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