I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize