Sry I called you an 8
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
