East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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