Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
