I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
