I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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