Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
