And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
