Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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