I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is wine microwaveable?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
