And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
