he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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