I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
