I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
