I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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