yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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