Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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