Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Your mouth is God's brothel.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
