its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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