it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
