They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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