Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
