I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
