Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
